Online Dating – WoW Style

This was not a real date as such. We just both play the game and thought we could meet up in there to play on the same realm. The ‘date’ part was really a joke between us. And I know what she looks like in real life. She is not a fat dude with an impressive array of handguns as suggested by the gamers over on my ‘’ blog. Which I’ll admit was quite funny. She is, however, a hot girl. Yes that’s right, hot girls do actually play games. Not all of them, just the ones with a good taste in hobbies. And lastly, me and said girl are in fact dating in real life, that’s probably the most important part of the disclaimer

The Date

Meeting with someone on WoW is always tricky. Simply because everyone I know seems to be on different realms so, after some discussion, the princess and I had decided to meet on her realm. Mainly to do with the fact that she was a higher level than the character on my realm. I was pretty cool with this, but being a somewhat old fashioned ‘manly man’, I did feel a bit castrated by her level 80 character.

I totally had the situation under control :/ Yes, I am the light red one. NOT PINK...light red. I was going for the Hellboy look

After meeting up in Darnassus (the night elf spawn point), I decided to head off to the Human capital city under the impression that there might be something cool to do there. On the way there my date had turned into a wolf and then night elf mohawked me. At this point of the date I had realised two things. One – Mr T’s hair is making a comeback in modern day pop culture, and two – this isn’t how I had planned the date in my mind.

So there I was – a light red night elf with a Mohawk and my date had turned into a wolf. At this point though I started to worry. I’ve got no idea where in the city I was going to take her! Once again she took the lead, and said for me to follow her… and eventually we arrived at Goldshire.

I had been at Goldshire before but never realised that it’s the same place they used in the South Park episode (Make Love, Not Warcraft 2006). After goofing around with some of the locals and re-enacting scenes from that episode, we headed into a local inn and kicked back for a bit. Hey it’s better than just talking on MSN.

Unfortunately, at this point, I had to disconnect as my laptop screen was about to get fixed by a planned in house engineer appointment. I had warned the princess about this pre game, and she was pretty cool about it. Thanks to a speedy fix I was back in Azeroth in about fifteen minutes! At this point, however, my date had left Goldshire and gone on a quest somewhere up north. I decided to use my Hearthstone and teleport back to Darnassus for a hopeful pick up by the princess.

But then disaster struck! Waiting for me at the teleport point was a band of Horde looking mighty vicious. Three of them, one of which appeared to be the leader, were seated on a crazed rhino. Forgetting that I was on a ‘normal’ realm, and being somewhat stupid, I walked up to the toughest looking one and struck it with my staff. Within one minute I was a spirit looking down on my awesome Hellboy light red body.

I realised there was only one thing I could do… I had to call the princess for help. I managed to resurrect my body, as the Horde had their back turned whilst ganging up on some other poor Night Elf, ran into a nearby house and immediately contacted her. She just said “Stay put, I’ll be there”.

Me hiding out, I mean waiting for the princess to arrive. I wasn't really hiding...

Within five minutes, she writes “Ok, all gone” and I’m thinking “Hmm maybe she’s joking”. I slowly peer out through the doorway and scan the area. Peaceful. And there she was. Standing in front of me with her awesome axe weapon in hand. I think I’m in love.

We then had virtual sex.
JUST KIDDING! We called it a night.

No, I don’t actually think I’m in love.  Yes I realise that my Samurai/Hellboy character is sort of a pinkish colour.  No, seriously she is not a fat dude with loads of handguns.

Last five articles by GL Guest Writer



  1. Mark B0SS says:

    and the 2nd date turned out to go quite well in real life :)

  2. Lorna Lorna says:

    Loved it :D Did you pull the covers over your head until she came and rescued you ;) The idea of you hiding out…I mean…checking the house for killer orcs or something while she took care of the horde is fantastic…:D

  3. Ben Ben says:


  4. Kat says:

    Ben! Look away from the blog, run!

    So sweet and funny Boss. Drives me mad when I come back from the loo on a date to find he’s headed north on a quest. Gets me everytime :’( You can pull off the pink, erm, “light red”, look very well.

  5. Tiq says:

    BOSS YOU SICK PERVERT! For all you know, she could have been a fat dude with loads of handguns!!

    Heh, nice article, dude. Although I’m a little dissapointed that you play alliance. :P

  6. Mark R MarkuzR says:

    You guys are terrible! Our friend Mark opens up about his love life and ends up with people slagging him off about his pink… um light red complexion and how his friend may have been some sleazeball? Shame on you.

    I’m scared to try WoW in case I bump into Mr T and he goes mental on me. Doesn’t Ozzy play it too? That’s too much scary for one day, thank you very much!!

  7. Lorna Lorna says:

    Boss’s character looks the same colour that Scottish people go when they get sunburned ;p Was a good read though, looking forward to more!

  8. Pete Pete says:

    hehe good write there B0SS! :D So……………… what’s her name then? And how long have you been dating for real? lol

  9. Garvaos says:

    Awesome post mark. Really made me chuckle

  10. Mark B0SS says:

    lol, thanks guys. Was a fun post to write. Might do a follow up by popular demand. Oh and I recently found out that she does have a large array of handguns. So I was sorta wrong about that :P

  11. Mark R MarkuzR says:

    At least it was still a “she” though :D

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