Thread of lemons.

[Blucey]

I'm in gaming malaise hell at the moment. I've got like 80 full games and as many XBLA things and I can't be arsed. Then my rental peeps sent me Shellshock 2. I'm not even sure why it was on my list but it arrived and I fired it up and hmmmm....

It's a lemon. Lacking in several aspects but playable enough to be diverting. Challenging enough to keep me interested. That's my definition of a lemon. A 'waaah you're playing a lemon' game where you think 'yeah it's not Gears of War but on the other hand, thankfully, it's not Gears of War'. Anyway, I tend to focus on the bad in AAA games and on the good in lemons.

Two Worlds was the ultimate lemon. Sure, it had a framerate which practically went backwards, a tiny draw distance, awful voice acting and some sketchy interface choices but it was also totally awesome and citrusy.

So, what are your lemons. Lemon me up, baby.

[UselessJack]

My latest lemon was Fairytale Fights. The gameplay is a bitch, the graphics give me eyecancer and the sounds rape my ears. Still, it was fun to play and go berserk on all my childhood memories. But not longer than 15 minutes per day.

I also bought Family guy - The Game recently since I love the series. I pretty much expected to get a shitty game, but it wasn't that bad at all. The gameplay is simple enough to let my 7 year old cousin play, the graphics are old, whats okay since it's a PS2 game, and some of the jokes aren't funny anymore if you've seen them in the show 20 times. But it's still fun to play and revisit all the favorite places of the show.

And last but not least: The Dark Eye - Drakensang. First, I'm a roleplayer myself. At least two evenings per month I let the dices roll and kill kobolds and trolls. So I was pretty hyped when I heard of the release of Drakensang. I was pretty dissapointed to be honest. The graphics, the music, the voiceacting (at least the german, I don't know about the english version), the story. All of that is just plain awesome. But I can't play it longer than 10 minutes since it starts to bore me to death. To be fair, apart from all my roleplay buddies, I never played TDE (or DSA, in german). But I know that it's the most rules-fanatic game ever. You have up to 15 sheets for your own character. And you feel that in Drakensang, and since I'm not a big fan of rules in roleplaygames but more of acting, Drakensang is a lemon to me.

[Rynstex]

Ninety Nine nights was a bit of a Lemon for me, in the way that it was a bit rubbish but you just kept playing it for no reason at all.

Edit: Another one I just thought of is FUEL, not the greatest game in the world but sure is pretty enough to keep you chugging along.

[Sketch]

EDF is pretty lemony - either that or god awful cheesy C-movie gash but I can't decide. It did have giant ants in it though...

[Blucey]

EDF is sweet sex all over your chops. My next GL article is EDF-flavoured (citrusy). It's an odd one. On the 360 it seems a little lemony but if it had been on the Dreamcast, half the gamers in the early noughties would have wanked themselves into comas.

FUEL's a great shout. It's too big, too empty and has the worst rubberbanding of any racing game ever made. But you could drive through a forest fire, or sit atop a mountain or watch the sun set over a lake and, at that point, the game was just spellbinding.

I'm the fucking lemon king to be honest. I'm inexplicably drawn to them.

[Jokesound]

You'd have been amazing during seafaring times.
Blucey - Preventer of Scurvy would look great on a business card.

[Ste]

Star Wars Force Unleashed. Its abit citrusy because its a little bit buggy/glitchy. It can be a nightmare using some of the force powers sometimes because the targeting method is rubbish and the camera is an arse but the story aint half bad, so its worth chugging along through it.

[Blucey]

You'd have been amazing during seafaring times.
Blucey - Preventer of Scurvy would look great on a business card.

Quick! Get the whole crew a copy of Tenchu Z! Stat!

Force Unleashed is an odd one as it did have a fair few reviewers/gamers stabbing one out about it. It would have been a much better game if every level was you, playing as Vader, running around starships. Anything on land was dogshit.

Jedi Knight 2 was better (than most things).

[The Preacher]

Jedi Knight II was an epic game, nothing at all lemony about it. Spent fucking months playing it, with the mods that came out. On PC anyway... I tried the console version on the Gamecube too, and that was a bit crap in comparison.

Been playing MotoGP 09/10 lately, now that's a lemon. The handling of the bikes is very twitchy one moment, and then like the wheels are stuck in glue the next, and the only reason I keep playing is that it's hilarious crashing into other riders and taking the entire field out in one stupid move. I have no idea what I was thinking when I bought it.

[Blucey]

Totally, Jedi Knight 2 on the PC was greatness. the follow up wasn't bad either. Jedi Academy. I think. One of the few PC games I ever replayed after beating it.

If I ever sort my PC out, I'll be reinstalling that for online larks. Some of my Peowwchildren still play it online.

Finished Shellshock 2, I wonder what lemon I'll get next. They sent me Lost Planet 2 but I don't think I can be cunted firing it up.