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Thread: Day 5: Hear no evil, see no evil

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    Zero's hero Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer's Avatar
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    Default Day 5: Hear no evil, see no evil

    Morning everyone! Today's topic is a simple one, mainly because I want to hear some unfiltered hate, in light of all the joy around me.

    What was that game? You know the one I mean. The most awful, broken, crappy, god awful piece of crap that should never of graced your console. It was a disgusting vile excuse for a game.

    What was yours?

  2. #2
    The one with the words mcdoodle42 is on a distinguished road mcdoodle42's Avatar
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    My word that shit was broken. It's unbelievable how bad that shit is.
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    Writer of Things Spad has a spectacular aura about Spad has a spectacular aura about Spad has a spectacular aura about Spad's Avatar
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    The installer gave you the option not to install the core game files - just the desktop shortcuts - which was bad enough, the game was a shitty piece of shit, which was worse, and the uninstaller deleted the game *plus* the parent directory, which broke my computer.

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    Bearer of The Hat of Boo! Fluff will become famous soon enough Fluff's Avatar
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    I mean it was THAT bad, I guess, but given the amount of jizz that the trailer promised, I was totally gutted.

    Same goes for EDF Insect Armageddon. 2017 still, to this day, remains one of the best, cheesiest games I have ever played. I was so disappointed with IA.
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  5. #5
    Chief, innit MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR's Avatar
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    That fucking game that I always screw up the name of. I could look it up, but then it would be less ranty, so I won't. It's either "Kingdom of Fire: Circle of Doom", "Circle of Fire: Kingdom of Doom", "Cuntdom of Fire Circle of Shite" or something like that. I have NO idea why it even exists. Really. Here's the premise... play as this character who actually looks pretty cool, then walk a path more linear than one of those dusty roads you see going through the desert in Arizona, but wait... there's more... every now and again (almost like clockwork) we'll chuck out groups of enemies for you to kill!!! Woooo!!! Enemy battles are great, yeah? Not when all you do is randomly hit buttons and the game does whatever the fuck it wants.

    I had a lot of love for this game from the trailer, and was really looking forward to playing it. The fact that I actually DID still haunts me. It's a pile wank, and not even good wank, I mean wank where you can't even be bothered wanking but somehow feel like you owe it to yourself to keep going.

    Also, Too Human. Worst combat system in a game, next to "Kingdom of Cock: Circle of Rimming" I'd say. It too looked pretty good from the first trailers and made the mistake of spending my money on that game rather than something better like fucking, I dunno, chewing my fist off and fucking myself with the stump. I feel cheated by both.
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  6. #6

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    Dead Island. It started off so well. I even had fun with it, especially when I played co-op with Jo, Kat and Richie. But the moment I left the beach and got to the town level, it broke. Zombies would rip me apart. There was no escape, they'd spawn, and kill me as soon as I spawned. It pissed me off.

    Too Human. Everything Mark said PLUS the death animation. It was infuriating seeing that same minute long animation everytime I died.

    Lost Via Domus. As a Lost fan, I cried over this. I only maxed it cos I could, and traded it in the day after release.

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    Zero's hero Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer's Avatar
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    J.U.L.I.A (Not J.U.I.L.A as I wrote every time during the review) was one of the more painful experiences I've had in recent years. Stupid puzzles, no direction, the most annoying protagonist since Tingle and generally poorly done. God it was awful.

    Apart from that, other games I've hated include Lost Planet. It started fine and then just descended into mind numbing linear bullshit. The final boss was a total cuntspanner too.

    Dead Island was shite from the word go. Worst 30 quid I've EVER spent and that includes the hooker in Amsterdam that turned out to be a bloke.

    Finally, the shit list is rounded off by the Halo series, each one more eye bleedingly, cock garglingly, worse than the last. The sooner Master Cunt does a triple axle fuck flip out of the industry the better.

  8. #8
    Vittoria Agli Assassini PhantoM is on a distinguished road PhantoM's Avatar
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    Auto-aim didn't even work. Took it back the same day and got Second Sight (which turned out to be incredible) instead.

    Such a shame it was so unbearably, bad given how awesome Desert Storm 1 and 2 were.

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    Holy crap! I think Toff's just turned into Richie!

  10. #10
    Zero's hero Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer has a spectacular aura about Toffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhantoM View Post


    Auto-aim didn't even work. Took it back the same day and got Second Sight (which turned out to be incredible) instead.

    Such a shame it was so unbearably, bad given how awesome Desert Storm 1 and 2 were.
    Who needs auto-aim? XD

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