This thread is the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time
This thread is the funniest fucking thing I've read in a long time
A corner of this foreign field that is for ever England
Just because I'm apparently really camp (though I have no idea where you people get that from, genuinely), frequently complain about my feelings (okay, well-), repeatedly make jokes about sexually molesting my male friends like Dom and joke about us having sex in Jo's cupboard (See, now that you mention it...) and justify myself as "Not gay, I just have a level of appreciation towards my (male) friends that some people may find physically uncomfortable" (Actually, you could have a point here) and have been made to dress up in tights (FOR A PLAY. I was Malvolio in Twelfth Night!) doesn't mean that I'm gay!Originally Posted by Ste
I don't see where everyone gets that idea from!
I'm not gay!
Not even for pay. Not even for a day, no way!
Spoiler ->But no, seriously, I'm not gay, no matter how much you, Mark and Lorna keep trying to persuade me to be.
Oh man, what is that river in Egypt called? Oh yeah! De-Nile! Sorry, I couldn't remember it for a second there. Ok back on subject, I believe you, you are totally not gay. Sorry for doubting you. Bro hug?
Watch where your hands are going though dood, I still think your a gay.
I'm calling it, pretty soon people will start using filepaths to describe their thought paths/actions/feelings, e.g:
Horny/resist urge/fail/midget porn/release!/self loathing...../delete internet history
"I will kill, fuck and eat you in that order, Bastard!" - Richie, 20/02/2012 9:44PM
Well, I'm glad we got that sorted!
Now give him a kiss so we can finally move on.
Tongues?
Hey! You kids leave poor Ed alone. He can kiss any dude he wants!
I'm constantly bombarded by WTF moments. Usually from our friends 'chavs'.
My top four are the following (in reverse order);
4. The first time I saw people outside in their pyjamas. This happened. Ugly women smoking and walking along the street in pink pyjama bottoms. It can't be a fashion thing but rather a mass example of fuckwittedness. It makes one hell of a statement - 'I'm so fucking lazy I won't even get dressed to go out!'
3. So I'm driving to work on a Monday. I drive past the post office and of course there were a bunch of doleys there. Fine. No, not fine. some of them are scouring the floor and picking up cigarette butts and smoking them. This happened.
2. So I'm driving home and I'm stopped at the lights. I see a dog. Aw little pooch! Little fella! Dog's owner has a strawberry Mini Milk ice lolly. She unwraps it, crouches down and pops it right in the dog's gob. He is lapping that shit right up. Aw cute little doggy!
She then stands up. And I realise....
'no... don't do it.... don't fucking do it'.
She shoves it in her fucking gob. This happened. I'm not one for randomly shouting abuse at strangers but I yelled out 'you sick bitch' at her.
1. I was in Marks and Spencers when I suddenly noticed two orange things. One big, one small. I look directly....
a spray-tanned mum.
and her spray-tanned baby.
This happened.
Oooooooh it's an invisible signature... oooooooooh!!
Life's greatest battles, often are fought alone.
I am not ashamed to say that I drove to Asda in my pyjamas at 2 in the morning.
But I was a student.
And it was 2 in the morning.
And I'd been throwing up all night and went to get some medicine.
... And I'd do it again ¬_¬... Long live the cow print.
Mr Kipling is a lie.
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