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Thread: Fuck you, Play.com - Fuck you so hard

  1. #1
    Banned The Preacher will become famous soon enough The Preacher's Avatar
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    Angry Fuck you, Play.com - Fuck you so hard

    I was originally going to post about this in the rant topic, but frankly, I'm so utterly appalled by what came in my mail today that I felt it deserved its own topic, here in the retail section, on account of the fact that I will NEVER, EVER buy ANYTHING from Play.com again.

    The item in question is my Assassin's Creed Brotherhood Limited Codex Edition boxset. I waited up all morning for the thing, despite not managing to get any sleep at all last night. I was super excited for this thing, I've had it on preorder for the last six months or more, since five minutes after it was announced.

    It arrived not in a box, but in one of those blue-ish purply courier sacks, which wasn't wrapped around the game inside it, but left baggy, so that the game was swinging around inside. This set off my first alarm bell.

    When I opened said courier sack, there were 3 items. The game, the receipt print out, and... a single scrap of bubble wrap floating around on its own, not wrapped around the game, not big enough to wrap around a quarter of the box the game was in, and not even taped on or anything. It had no business being in that sack at all, for all the good it was doing. In fact, it was such a small, disconnected, and pathetic looking bit of bubble wrap that it moved from the realm of incompetent packaging and into being an obvious, personal, deeply wounding insult. I couldn't wrap this bit of bubble wrap around my cock if I were fully erect, so whoever placed this raggedy piece of forlorn tail end superfluous waste into my package must have known precisely what they were doing, unless possibly they had just been beaten with shovels whilst drunken to the point of brain damage, just after a full frontal lobotomy performed whilst they were being skull-fucked by a horse. To say that whoever did this was either catastrophically stupid and/or utterly vindictive towards me or the world in general is too much of an understatement. This braindead vengeful fuckwit will undoubtedly be the next president of the United States of America.

    Needless to say, the outer box of the game is dented to hell and back, having absorbed undiminished every single knock from Play's warehouse to me here in Cornwall. It looks like it's been used to play rugby.

    I had low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised on opening the thing to see that the special chest was seemingly whole and intact. Which I put solely down to the fact that it looks nice from a distance but up close is a kind of cheap, nasty, tacky, shock resistant PVC shite.

    And then I opened the lid.

    I say I opened the lid. It fell off. The posts used to hold the lid in place, four of them, in each corner, were all snapped off. Every one. The lid stays in place when you have the chest the right way up because the underside protrudes several millimetres into the chests interior cavity. But the moment you tilt it slightly, mine now falls apart.

    Essentially I paid seventy pounds British sterling for the privilege of Play.com to send me the game I was most looking forwards to this holiday season, in a state that as a collector I find utterly abhorrent. And it is a collector's set. An expensive collector's set, a rare one with a small production run. I bought a mug for a fiver from Play almost exactly a year ago for a Secret Santa thing on another site (which I was also shafted over, but not by Play, so never mind), and that came in a box six times too large that was filled, absolutely stuffed, with packing materials and rolled up paper, so that the mug wasn't going to break if the package fell from an aircraft. But now I spend 14 times as much and they essentially stick their fingers up at me. They may as well have foregone all additional packaging and stuck a stamp on the game itself, right on the box, and sent that.

    Fuck you Play.com. Fuck you you bunch of unspeakable cunts. You've lost yourself a customer for life, you're going on the same list with Zavvi.

    I haven't even been able to phone them or email them to complain, because I am so apoplectic that I know I'd instantly get hung up on by opening the conversation with "I'd like to register a complaint, you cunty fucknugget bastards".

    That Ubisoft gave these pricks the exclusive deal on Assassin's Creed II and Assassins Creed Brotherhood's limited editions in the UK matters not to me, if they get Assassin's Creed III Uber-Spiffy-Blacked-Up-Codex-Wunderbar Edition I shall simply put my love for the franchise to one side and settle for a lesser version. I am that pissed off.

    Not only that, but if I send the game back I'm in trouble anyway, because I'm writing the review.

    If I ever get talking to anyone, and they happen to mention working for Play.com during 2010, I will probably garrotte them to be on the safe side.

  2. #2
    Some, they call me...Stu etherfiend will become famous soon enough etherfiend will become famous soon enough etherfiend's Avatar
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    Play.com has messed up multiple times with me recently too. Firstly I pre-ordered New Vegas, the book & a 12+2 month gold sub. Nothing turned up on time, in fact over a month later I'm still fighting to get my money back for the gold sub that never turned up. Then I pre-ordered Dance Central & Kinect Sports, again, they turned up more than 7 days after their release.

    It's sad after so many years of amazing service, but something has changed there, and changed for the worse. Once my money is re-imbursed I'll be closing down my account there permanently.

    My issues may pale into insignificance compared to the state of your collectors edition but you are not alone in terms of an unhappy customer.

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    Whoa. The anger is strong in this one.

    /leaves thread

  4. #4
    Will suck dick for Rep Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste's Avatar
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    Fucking hell. And here's me thinking Play.com won online retailer of the year for a reason. They must have fucking brought it if they do that to their customers. Personally I've never had a problem with Play but I can understand why your beyond angry. I suggest going for a walk or something to calm yourself down and then see about getting that refund. If you go ranting at play in that state I guarentee you you'll get fucking nowhere fast.

    I'm sure Mark would understand about the review being late or whatever. I've not known him long but I know he's not a tosser.

  5. #5
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    I can tell your a writer... your words just kinda flow and sing across the page. Never have I read the word cunt, and fucknugget, and bastard, all in the same sentence and been filled with a sense of... hmm... well... snuggly warmth!

    I admire your approach to this very touching and heartbreaking subject, if there was anything I could do help, short of sending a ninja squad of assassin African sparrows, carrying coconuts filled with C4, too the Play.com HQ, then I would do.

  6. #6
    Will suck dick for Rep Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste is a splendid one to behold Ste's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knikitta View Post
    a ninja squad of assassin African sparrows, carrying coconuts filled with C4.
    Want

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    Fucking hell. I am colossally gutted for you and appalled at Play's service. As a fellow collector who also prides themselves on their limited ed. collection I would be absolutely shredded and unspeakably incandescent with rage if I received something like that. For something that expensive to turn out to a- be pretty shitty up close, and b - be damaged beyond belief is fucking shite. If you want to send the whole thing back, then I would. As for the review - PM incoming.

    Absolutely appalled for you.
    Last edited by Sketch; 19-11-2010 at 16:30.
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  8. #8
    The Virgin Destroyer Van-Fu San will become famous soon enough Van-Fu San's Avatar
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    Just realised, I meant to also say 'Commiserations'

    So commiserations. That's not a nice thing to happen, after looking forward to that special edition for so long.

  9. #9
    Chief, innit MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR has much to be proud of MarkuzR's Avatar
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    That's utter cockvomit, really. I experienced the same moronic attitude to packing from Amazon last year when I bought Lorna's ridiculously huge Monty Python set, plus her Scooby Doo set and they rammed them (literally) into the same small box to send them off to me, so the Scooby box effectively crushed the Python box BEFORE they'd even closed the lid on the box to seal it. It's the first time Amazon ever fucked me over and, to be fair to them, I gave them ONE call and they immediately shipped out a replacement set of each item while I was on the 'phone and told me not to bother sending the others back until I was happy with the replacements. I've not had any problems with them since.

    It's fair to say that there WAS a lot of bubble wrap around everything, plus those tasty organic puffy things as well as the large air pockets so it wasn't lack of packing that was the problem with mine but lack of intelligence on the part of the packer themselves. For Play to have sent this to you WITHOUT wrapping it up is just fucking mental, reminds me of when Blackstar sent me my Buffy DVD set in a similar polythene bag with no protection, and it too was ruined by the time it got to me.

    And yeah, what Ste said... it's more important that you get it fully replaced and that you're happy with it than you get the review done!!
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  10. #10
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    Phone them up, and give them a piece of your mind and make it clear that you're not only going to avoid their service from now on, you've told everyone you know about this and they're passing it on too, so unless they fix it then they're going to find a lot of people boycotting them.

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