About the author...
Before I begin, I would just like to say a big hello to any single, attractive females reading this. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don’t hesitate to send me a message. Nobody wants to die alone and it’s always nice to have someone in your life who’ll feed the cat when you’re out. In the unlikely event you’re another fella and you fancy your chances against my future wife - Hands off! I called dibs.

...Now where the hell was I!? Was I talking about cars? I bet I was talking about cars. I’ve always found the smell of the petrol, the feel of the steel, the roar of the engine to be so enticing. Vroom vroom said the spider to the fly. Have I run this joke into the ground yet? Not quite. My favourite is the red one.

What I don’t know about cars, I do make up for with videogames. I have a rather long and extensive ancient geek history. Some of my oldest memories involve watching my uncle use cassettes and floppy disks to play his far more primitive machines. Another less happy flashback, involves watching him getting eaten by Dinosaurs.

Be it square, round, circle or triangle; in some shape or form my life has been driven by my love of gaming. After the ice age, I caught myself working with apes in video game retail for a number of years. Desperate to escape, I eventually found myself studying game design at university for twelve months. I stress twelve because I was meant to stay for twenty-four.

As for taste, I don’t really have one. Were we ever to meet in person, please refrain from biting me to prove any different! Videogames are like a delicious tin of assorted sweets, so why limit your choices?

Before I close, I have one more thing to add. As my own special way of saying thanks to all of the boys and girls on site, I have written a poem. Thank you for taking me under your wing and allowing me to nest here.

I just convinced this silly site,
Gaming Lives that I could write.

The end. Follow me on twitter @UberMashu. Somebody has to.

Below is a list of all published articles, with the most recent displayed first

• Microsoft And The E3 Diskinect