iLust After Something New
by Kat
Who doesn't love their XBox?
I’m in love. I am in love with my Xbox 360. We’ve grown extremely close these past two years and I like to think he’s as fond of me as I am of him. He’s dependable, always there when I need him and we cozy up for long fun-filled nights together. We’re pretty much inseparable but there are times when things feel a little stale. I try to shake things up with a new title or we’ll download a film and he’ll purr softly at me as I lie on the sofa. My eyes wander though. To the sleekness of a Playstation 3 or the wacky but eventually irritating Wii. I’d resisted so far and am proud of my monogamy, however, last week something new entered my life. He’s fresh, exciting and I’ve spent many enjoyable hours gently caressing his smooth front and discovering how to push all the right buttons. We can even go out and about instead of all the usual homely nights in. I have finally joined the herd and submitted to my desires for an iPhone.
I’ve waited patiently and listened to friends insensitively comparing apps in front of me as I gazed, forlorn, at my lame LG Viewty. Finally it made fiscal sense to pick one up. Now I’m part of the cool kids and been downloading apps at a rate of knots. I can check Facebook and Twitter with a simple press of the screen and thanks to wifi I don’t have to wait a small eternity for the pages to load. I’m also able to easily confirm, without turning on the PC, that I do indeed still have 0 New Messages in my Gmail inbox. No doubt I will harvest many useless apps over time simply because they are free but the “organisation/list loving” part of me will enjoy rearranging applications into different sections or spring cleaning redundant ones.
I haven’t bothered with games on phones since the days of Snake on the Nokia 3210 and, wow, have they come a long way. My Xbox has been roughly shoved to the side to make time in my life for the iPhone. I am now participating in several games of Words With Friends – essentially a Scrabble rip off that lets you play with anyone else who has the app. I don’t care that I seem to be losing most games because the real fun is trying to come up with dirty words, right? My two favourite single player games so far have to be the insanely addictive Angry Birds and Doodle Jump. There is something ultimately satisfying about slingshotting our feathered friends into brick walls or bouncing up a screen simply by tilting the phone. The technology astounds me, it’s modern day magic. I may also have enjoyed playing as Tinkerbell in Disney’s Fairies but let’s keep that our little secret.
Angry Birds is fun. Angry Rottweilers is not.
Recently where I used to switch on the Xbox to play a quick half hour of Peggle or Bejeweled, I’ve been sprawled on the bed with the iPhone, screaming obscenities at little green pigs that refuse to die by angry birdstrike. I now have a voracious appetite for anything free. After hearing strange noises coming from my friend’s iPhone I asked what it was. He replied “some game where you’re a pigeon crapping on cars”. A normal reaction from me might be an eyeroll or look of mild distain, yet mine was “OMG I HAVE to get that!”. Former Facebook updates or Tweets from friends about free game apps that used to grate on my nerves are now an exciting goldmine of iPhone possibilities.
My Xbox need not feel insecure though. iPhone has his downsides which are becoming all too apparent. He seems insecure, like he’s on edge waiting for me to replace him with a younger, faster model. Plus he might be shiny and new but what we have is casual, I’ll pick him up and use him when I need quick satisfaction but when it comes down to it, he lacks the stamina of an Xbox to keep going all night. My new phone may be intoxicating me with his charms for now but deep down it’s still the Xbox that iLove.
Last five articles by Kat
- Falling For Fallout?
- I MAED A P0ST WITH Z0MBIES 1N IT!!1
- One Girl, Two Pads
- The Gaming Closet
- 24 Hours In Reach
It pleases my mind’s ear to hear you haven’t completely turned your back on console gaming!
I’m still sat on the fence like you were originally. Like so much tech these days, I think I’d be much more willing to fork out for an iPhone if they weren’t constantly updating them with a new model. (Maybe an exaggeration on my part, but I’m Oliver Twist poor!)
I’m impressed words let you spell bewbs but when I tried to spell jiz it was a no go. It keeps teasing me also, the other day I had the following letters W A N E R along with a few others and maddingly there was no K to be found on the board where I could fit in my favorite swear word. Gutter.
I digress though, I love my 3GS. I’ve had it since it launched and there’s no going back. I do feel slightly less of a man now that I know that a bigger, better iPhone will soon be out but I really cant afford to pay the early upgrade charge. Trust me, I’ve looked into it.
Nice article though, I’m impressed that you managed to make an article about playing on the iPhone sound like a dirty affair. I’m sure it will go down well with people like Pix3lboy!
I have to say… when I first got my iPod Touch, I was always on it playing games. It’s odd really because I’m not much of a portable gamer – when I got my DS (the original) I was so unimpressed by it that I just couldn’t bring myself to play it. The sound was dodgy, the graphics were dodgy and it felt like someone had shat it out after eating copious amounts of cheap plastic… like those old video cases.
The PSP was different though, it felt like it wanted to be played and so I played it. The graphics were great, the sound was great and the games were even great… but don’t expect Sims 2 to play without loading from the UMD every two seconds. It was a nightmare. I’d have finished NFS: Most Wanted too if it hadn’t been for my joystick starting to veer to the right, probably from dropping it several times.
The iPod though, or iPhone to you fancy schmancy folk, I loved playing games on it. Know why? It was easy to get new games. You browse the app store and think “oooh that looks good, I’ll try the demo” then after a few seconds you’ve got it completely installed and configured, ready to play. It handled well too, even without a stick.. but there are obvious limits to what it CAN do in terms of handing.
Flick Fishing was great, as was Pinball Dreams (the old Amiga port) and some game where you run a chocolate shop… can’t remember what it was called but it was also a lot of fun… but when Flashback and Command & Conquer were released on it I just couldn’t bring myself to try them – that’s TOO much control for a touch screen if you ask me, especially Flashback with its pixel perfect precision.
All in all though, I do love my iPod Touch even though I don’t use it as much as I should. Then again, with running this place, I don’t really get to game at all anymore.
I have held off from the iPhone revolution so far…. but only because T-Mobile refused to take up the call to arms
They do fascinate me though and I’ve always liked the look and feel of Apple products 
iPad may be on the horizon some time if the price comes down a bit lol
In the interim, I have my Nokia N900… it has it’s limitations but it’s good enough for me right now! Plus it has the awesome Angry Birds available (and downloaded, and completed lol)
Can’t find Angry Birds 2 though… or whatever follow up they apparently did 
Hope your 360 doesn’t have hissy fits at you flirting with others Kat
I gotten bored instantly of every single game I’ve downloaded for the iPhone. Apart from QRank, which I really like.
My brain just can’t get into any of it. I load up Flight Control once every month for a couple of goes.
I guess I simply don’t like it as a platform……but you know what? I bet I change my tune once they bring in unified achievements.
Xbox man love is what you need Kat
Just be thankful that you aren’t into Farmville since it is fast heading for the iPhone and that would be your life gone. Sadly, I don’t even use my DS enough, let alone contemplating an iPhone thing…besides, I’d only scratch or drop it in my tea…these things always tend to accidentally happen to me.
@ Pete – Christ, it looks like a smiley monster has vomited over that response…:D
The only decent phone game I had was on my previous Nokia something-or-other which had Splinter Cell on it. Other than that my phones have shite games because I have a basic phone. I’ve contemplated the iPod Touch numerous times and still get curious about the iPhones now and then. My gaming is pretty much on Xbox thought and I’m content with that. Probs will get the new model at some stage, will just wait to see what the Xbox Slim/Kinect bundle will cost.
Lee moans at me when he sees my iPhone screen. It doesn’t have more than 1 page of apps and the ones I do have are too pratcial and not stupid enough. I’ve played a lot of the stupid on my iPhone but because it’s so shiny, everyone always has to have a wee peek and then instantly they go Goblin and thats the last i see of my iPhone and it’s battery.
It’s driven me to become the opposite of myself and has created an abusive relationship with my iPhone. It’s folded away in it’s protective case, it’s always deep in my pocket and whenever it’s out for others to cast a gaze upon, my finger is always hovering on the sleep button, ready to put it away like the jealous lover I’ve become.
My Xbox is the key to my <3. Like the Doctor and Rose, when I lost my first Xbox, having to take a new companion wasn't the same. I still felt loved but it wasn't the same, She was fiesty alright but we are just friends. Now I have my new 360 on order, I'm looking forward to the Pond phase. I do like Pond.
Look what you've done now Kat! I'm all distracted and stuffs….
Such is the power of your words. I hope I have a higher DoodleJump score
I now love my iPhone 4. That is all. But welcome to the family, you dirty, dirty girl.
