The Gaming Closet

Unless you’re rich and have a bucket-load of free time then it’s impossible to play all games. Most of us probably struggle to harvest a few hours a week to play that latest release we’ve been drooling over for months, let alone keep up with a backlog. School work tried to keep us away from games, now employment keeps us busy, children expect feeding and attention, family and friends drop by for visits and some of you need to wait for a nod from a significant other to get “permission” to play for a couple of precious hours. So it’s no surprise that some classic games slip through the net.

I think… hope… that I am not alone in having missed out on some huge or influential titles – games where you have to gaze at your feet, scuff them into the dirt and admit in hushed tones that you’ve never tried them. I would like to use this article as a chance to step out of my Closet of Shame and fess up to some titles that I’ve never played.

Metal Gear
For my sins I still know very little about the franchise aside from recalling Solid Snake being the cover boy of choice on countless gaming magazines in my youth. It’s a series that I should invest some time in, particularly after pouring numerous hours into Splinter Cell: Conviction and constantly hearing people compare Snake with Sam Fisher. Seeing as I owned a PSone and a Playstation 2 I have no legitimate reasons for missing out on Metal Gear. I can only humbly apologise.

Final Fantasy
Gamers often get involved in internet barneys over which is the best Final Fantasy. I have never played one, I’ve never even seen one played. I am clueless about the storyline and game-play. I do know that every song ever written has an accompanying fan made Final Fantasy montage video on YouTube so I get it’s a big thing. As much as I’d love to call myself open minded, we are none of us perfect and I don’t care for the series and almost certainly never will. I’m not even sorry this time.

Resident Evil
While loitering near groups of boys at college, I would hear their excitement at the Resident Evil games. They would sound awesome with the talk of mutated creatures, zombie dogs and giant spiders. Being a black-clad, Sisters of Mercy-lovin’, eyeliner-addicted horror movie fan this appealed no end. However it was also around the time I discovered I’m a coward and horror games scare the living crap out of me. Alas, aside from having a go on the Resident Evil 5 demo and finding it pretty dire, I have never been able to play through any game in the series. These exact same words can also be applied to the Silent Hill franchise.

Mass Effect
This entry is cheating a bit as I had tried the beginning of the first Mass Effect and, blasphemous as this is, I was bored. It was boring. I couldn’t get on with the fighting and wandering about talking to people doesn’t do it for me. I have to wander around talking to people in real life, why would I want to sit down in the evening and do it some more. The same can be said for Oblivion and Fallout. The reason I’m including these is that there’s so much love for the games out there that I can’t help feeling I’ve missed out and feel mild shame that not only have I not played these games through but also that I find them dull. I believe that’s offended everyone reading this, yes I know I have shocking taste sometimes.

Pokemon
The Pokemon thing exploded in the UK while I was slightly off the games radar. There’s a patchy couple of years that mainly involved drinking/working hard (delete as appropriate depending on whether you’re my Dad or not) and gaming was cast aside. I have never played a Pokemon game although I did find Pikachu rather cute while watching the cartoon from bed in a comatose, hungover state. Thinking back, I never had a Game Boy anyway, only a Game Gear. I think this means I had a deprived/privileged childhood (delete as appropriate depending on whether you’re my Dad or not).

So there, that’s a few of my dirty little secrets out but before you judge me too harshly I’m sure you have some gaming skeletons hidden away at the back of your wardrobe too. I know amongst you are people who have never played a Sonic the Hedgehog game, Halo or Bubble Bobble. Come with me, liberate yourself from the guilty shackles of these unplayed games and together we can overcome the shame.




Last five articles by Kat

  

11 Comments

  1. Rook says:

    Some of the games you haven’t played that have earned a reputation for being the best in the franchise will not match up nowadays because graphics and controls have moved on so much.

    I too have never played Pokemon (I feel dirty just using that name), other than a go at a friends house I have never played Sonic or a God Of War game.

    I’m sure there are others but that’ll do for now.

  2. Ste says:

    I can’t believe you never played some of these games Kat. My estimations of you have dropped sharply! :p However I must admit that I only played the first Mass Effect this year, I then bought ME2 instantly after completing the first so I suppose that makes up for it right? Please say it does!

    Metal Gear Solid and Final Fantasy VII were the games that made me want to get a Playstation back in the day. Resident Evil was an old favorite and I must admit to loving abit of Pokemon every now and again. Rook is right though, if you went back and played most of these games now you’d probably be disappointed. During the last Metal Gear game there is a flashback section where you actually play a portion of the old PSOne game and I couldnt believe it was the same game I played all them years ago. It looked awful but back then I remember it blowing my socks off.

    Nice article, now get away from me before you infect me with your gaming n00bness :p

  3. Adam Adam says:

    I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge……..list of games that I should be mega ashamed for not having played. Starcraft is up there, Warcraft III, Bioshock, Baldurs Gate II, Either Diablo, Super Mario Galaxy, Theif…..

    The only thing stopping me is time, perhaps some compatibility issues and maybe money (due to not owning some of the systems). If a game is as good as everyone you run with has told you, then regardless of how dated it may now be, I think theres a lot of value in going back to them.

    To have avoided Final Fantasy is quite the accomplishment. For how popular the JRPG became because of it, it really would have been difficult to overlook but the same with me and Bioshock, if I hear that its good from too many people, for some reason I will avoid it :)

    I hope you feel better getting this off your chest and I hope that some day you find the opportunity to tick a few off the list :)

  4. Ric Ric says:

    To be fair, Mass Effect wasn’t actually that great, but Mass Effect 2 got rid of all the cumbersome RPG elements and made it a fast paced shooter instead of a straight up RPG. Definitely one to try out.

    I don’t think I’ve really missed out on any gaming greats, except maybe WoW and Warcraft III. Oh, and Diablo. Most PC games really. But really? Final Fantasy? Maaan, that takes skill to miss out on.

  5. FC360 says:

    I find FF very boring and find myself falling asleep within 2 minutes of starting it up. It is very rare for me to find a game I really enjoy, Pokemon are the only games that I really enjoy. MGS I swear I have played that game before but then again I can’t have since I owned a PS2 for about a year and only played 1 game on it.

    Resident Evil is so annoying or at least the only game I played on it was, Nemesis on PC, I could not get away from Nemesis after meeting him in the kitchen even when using a walkthrough.

  6. UselessJack says:

    I have to admit, I’m the Ed of videogames. Haven’t played the Metal Gear series, too. And only Final Fantasy 13 and 10. And I didn’t found both of them very exciting.
    Oh, and I love the article :D

  7. Mark R MarkuzR says:

    I have no dirty little secrets when it comes to gaming; I’m utterly proud of my choice of games over the years and as proud of the ones I’ve managed to avoid. I hear so many people raving about the Metal Gear series but there’s no way in hell you’re going to get me sitting through a week long cut scene.

    I’ll stick to my, potentially contrived, choice of games and be happy with what I like. They may be littered with “Forsooths” and “Mayhaps” but at least I enjoy them!

  8. Lorna Lorna says:

    I also have a shocking list of gaming sins to confess: Metal Gear series, FF VII, Bioshock, Halo, Mario Galaxy, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Phoenix Wright, Shadow of the Colossus and more. Most are down to time and general laziness, while others, such as Metal Gear, are because I simply never had a PS1/PS2. Others, such as Halo, just don’t interest me. As far as Final Fantasy goes, I played the first ever incarnation which was renamed Mystic Quest and which I’m not even sure is now classified as Final Fantasy. However, I only played that one because it was had regular, real-time combat mechanic. All others have been turn-based which I loathe, so I have therefore always avoided them, and, I suspect, missed out.

    This holiday break though, I am planning to right a few wrongs and knock down some titles which I have previously missed out on, such as Metal Gear and Phoenix Wright.

  9. Richie rich says:

    You’re not alone, Kat. I’ve got plenty of skeletons.

    Examples:

    All the 3D GTA games – I’ve played bits of all of them and think they are all dogshit.

    Ico – yeah, just not any good, sorry.

    MGS2 onwards. All gash. MGS was good though.

    Also, Gash Effect mer like.

  10. MrCuddleswick says:

    I’ve played everything and know-all.

  11. Edward Edward says:

    Don’t worry, you’re not the Me of games.
    I’ve played all those. ;)

    Nah, in all seriousness, it’s not the worst thing ever if you haven’t played some games, not everyone is able to for various reasons over time, so it’s all good.
    I get recommended a lot of games I’ve never tried out, but I’d like to out Okami, ICO, Shadow of the Collossus as games I’ll probably never get around to playing, as much as I want.
    Also, I found God of War boring as heck and never went further into it after someone showed me the first level of the first.

    Still, great article Kat :D

Leave a Comment