Future Uncovers New Breeds of Gamer

If there’s one thing we love here at GLHQ, it’s statistics.  In fact, several of us get a bit giddy when graphs and charts are waved in front of our excited faces, and we’re not ashamed to admit it.  Sometimes research and statistics can take things a little bit too far, however, and make bold announcements that we already know.  Things like “you’re more likely to die from an anvil falling on your head than from choking on a feather”… well of course, because you can keep coughing until a feather dislodges but you can’t suddenly whip out the latest anti-grav technology to prevent that anvil from making contact, and it’s heavy!

Future Publishing recently got a little carried away with their research on gamer demographics and have today announced that they have discovered three new breeds of gamer.  Rather than drooling at this anthropological finding like one would with the discovery of a new species of fish that removes its own bones before taking that last breath, making your inevitable devouring somewhat simpler, the information received no more than a nonchalant shrug, coupled with “but we knew that anyway”.

For those of you who want to delve deeper into the psyche of the gamer to see what the publishers of the oft-beautiful matt-laminated-with-spot-varnishing Edge uncovered, these are they, paraphrased so we’re not simply copying and pasting from a press release, because that’s a sin…

  • Mono Gamer – the type who sees one particular game that pumps their ‘nads enough to want to buy the console just to play that game.
  • Commuter Gamer – undoubtedly a gadget freak, and this gamer works too hard to have enough time in the evening to dedicate to gaming and so resorts to the iPad or mobile device whilst travelling.
  • Family Gamer – younger gamers who have been introduced to gaming through having parents who were/are also gamers.

While it’s admirable that Future care enough about their audience to want to know more about them, it’s hardly news that these particular cross sections exist.  Here at GL, we are peppered with all of the above archetypes and have been aware of them for some time.  It’s an odd revelation, and an obvious one, but a revelation nonetheless.  Keep your pocket protectors and clipboards locked away, Future researchers, and stick to giving us beautifully presented mags with enough verbosity for the discerning gamer to get a little bit of a stiffy (or a wetty… we’re not sexist here) and we’ll get along just fine!

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