Family Values
by Ben
Parents beware... these kids may grow up to prefer wearing vile clothing like the disgusting pyjamas you forced them to wear as children!
They say that for a male the hardest job you can have is that of being a father whereas, in my opinion, it’s more of a job of keeping your nerve when people are judgemental because you are a father. It’s bad enough these days just taking a child into nursery – if you haven’t got two breasts and a set of ovaries then, straight off the bat, you’re the enemy. It’s even harder when the subject of games drops into the conversation.
“I’m not really a fan of computer games” she says,
“Really? Well me and Jnr enjoy them together quite a bit” I reply,
“It’s not good for their health, all those guns and killing people” is her retort,
“It’s not all that bad, it’s only like that if you don’t pay attention to age ratings on games, similar to the ones films have” as the tone of my voice starts to flicker from normal to ‘get me the hell out of here’,
“I just don’t trust them, you never know what they’ll be playing” … her final phrase before she trots off, probably to discuss how Victoria Beckham lost 0.75 inches off her left buttock with the new Radish and Cauliflower diet, exclusively covered in OK magazine.
There's no reason that parents can't spend time gaming with their kids, if handled responsibly, and it may also aid in their teaching. Such as dragon slaying.
Usually I’d have made no attempt to even spark up a conversation with the person, let alone one about games, but when Junior makes mention that he wants to go home and play “Daddy’s car game” an explanation had to follow, although the alternative of going out boosting cars every night probably would have gone down better.
It’s surprising because if there’s one thing the latest generation of consoles has tried to establish, it’s that gaming is very much a family orientated pastime, just look at Ant and Dec – how many families have they crashed in on so far? Being a dad is one of those things that nothing prepares you for. There are toys on your desk, no spare batteries for your 360 controller and router cables being unplugged during the last round on Team Fortress 2 – there should be a handbook for this kind of thing, but then it’d probably be taken away in an effort to save paper and the world.
Growing up in a gaming orientated household, you’re bound to get drawn to the pretty colours and strange sounds emerging from various types of screen, but is it a bad thing? Contrary to what the Daily Mail will have you think, I’d say not at all. By all means do I not take Junior for a stroll around Liberty City or Jacinto, but there are ways that gaming can be good for those younglings growing up, and indeed in an educational capacity as well. I happen to have a son who loves cars or, for that matter, anything with a set of wheels. These seem to get him all excited and full of boyish squeals that, for most of us, the only way to replicate would be with a firmly placed kick to the crotch.
Burnout Paradise looks good enough for even the most hardened graphical whore, so you can imagine what Burnout Paradise looks like to a toddler. In Star Wars style fashion when Obi Wan first gave Luke a lightsaber so too did I pass down the controller to his miniature hands and, as I did, a new gamer was born. There was no glowing light or angelic chorus, but I’d like to think that deep down a Mario coin collecting sound effect spontaneously played. Once we got over the whole “how to hold a controller” issue, it didn’t take him long to start driving around Paradise City… usually backwards… but driving none the less, yet it was the educational things unknown to him that he was soaking in, the first being colours.
“What car would you like to drive today” I’d ask,
“That red one” he’d reply excitedly.
The red car and the blue car had a race... all red wants to do is stuff his face. And barrel roll. And flat spin.
Sure enough, it was indeed a red car. Soon after, his faithful Spot the Dog ‘Teach Yourself’ series of books found themselves waiting on the sidelines as, more and more, he sampled the tastes that gaming had to offer, picking up valuable knowledge far quicker than any book had managed to date. Forza, Fuel and Burnout Paradise had become virtual class rooms, colours were quickly lodged in memory and, within the space of just a couple of weeks, he had picked up all primary and secondary colours as well as a good deal of the tertiary ones too. It was learning, but it was fun at the same time, something which I believe is of great importance to anyone’s educational experience, be those preschool children or young adults venturing to University.
It didn’t stop there however, with focus now on learning his left and right, which was quickly picked up especially when the result of failure was usually a rather broken car which then had to be driven by daddy to the garage to fix it, probably a bit too early for map reading skills after all – besides, it was now one of the few occasions that I’d actually get to play myself. There was a whole host of educational values that he picked up; accompanying colours from Forza and Burnout was currency from World of Warcraft – where he’d sit and watch as I auctioned off my latest breastplate of ancient dragon nipples that I had found the night before.
How is it possible that a freaky, rendered, Lego representation of Major Arnold Toht is actually LESS creepy than the real character?
It just goes to show that, in this day and age when people are far too quick while reaching for the tar brush, they forget that gaming does have another side. Sure the gun toting, murdering, prostitute hiring filth is still there, but the same can be said about film and TV. You reach a certain time of day and TV begins to change, you wave goodbye to seemingly mundane programs only for things to start getting a bit more risky as we hit the 9pm mark. The same goes for games, and I have a walking talking miniature version of myself that is proof of that. He’s three and a half years old now and gaming is a big part of not only his hobbies, but also for his father and son bonding time if you will.
While I am rather observant to what he can and can’t play, it’s great to see him finding his gaming feet. We started off simple but now titles like Lego Indiana Jones are being disc twitched (Copyright Lee Williams©) along with Kung Fu Panda and the Viva Pinata series – it’s like an evolutionary tree of a gamer. He has access to the household Nintendo DS which, with Brain Training and other similar games, has helped his numeracy skills as well as writing… not to mention Nintendogs which, while we’re not able to have a living breathing dog at the moment, is a great way for him to learn how to be with our four legged friends, as after his evening meal, he’d often chime up:
“Time to feed Bruno and Daisy” referring to his Dalmatian and Beagle.
Long before Rare got the inspiration, and long before the graphic chip was invented, parents thought nothing of letting their children smack the shit out of an animal effigy with a stick until the insides fell out. Something that's conveniently forgotten.
That’s not to say his life revolves solely around gaming. Far from it. He still does all the things any young person should be doing, catching spiders, playing in the park, basically all the stuff a lot of people would class as ‘normal’, it’s just that I’ve added a bit of technology to the mix. It’s brought a whole new love of music for him, as he sits trying to play Guitar Hero or belting out tunes to Lips. A love of music that has carried over from gaming to everyday life as he’ll randomly stop and bust a groove at totally random intervals such as at the checkout in Gamestation. He’s also now a guitar addict and can regularly be found rocking out with his air guitar to the radio or TV.
As we sit side by side on the floor, controllers equipped, playing our way through our latest adventure I sit back and take note: I have a Co Op partner for life and, as I watch him gradually gain more concept of what is happening, his hands slowly becoming more instinctive to not only Xbox 360 controller but mouse and keyboard as well I just sit back… watch, and smile. As the age old saying goes, note to myself “That’s my boy”.
So yeah, all this talk of how games are bad for you, how they’ll corrupt you… sorry, I don’t buy it.
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Wish I could say the same for when I was a kid, can’t really credit Pong for teaching me up and down or Space Invaders teaching me side to side (Mr Miyagi didn’t teach me those either). Games still make us think, creating strategies, working out racing lines, solving puzzles. Games can certainly be educational and I’m use them with my kid too, just as soon as I grow up.
About time somebody with first-hand experience pointed out that gaming doesn’t necessarily turn a child into a slavering rapist murderer. I’ve long suspected it, but could never prove it, because I’m unlikely ever to spawn my own mini-me.
However, I do know that playing Sonic the Hedgehog, Mickey’s Castle of Illusion and Mario never did me any harm, just gave me a heightened appreciation for the surreal if anything, and that not all games are about blowing stuff up.
There was a wonderful quote this week from one of the makers of Red Dead Redemption… he was being interviewed by Newsround, that kiddies news show on BBC1 that they unwelcomely shoehorn between the penultimate and last children’s programmes on weekdays (no, I was not watching it, I found the interview online of course) and some idiot “reporter” asked if he felt responsible for corrupting children. He replied that RDR was made for adults, and if a parent allowed their kid to play it then they were a terrible parent. You can probably find the complete verbatim quote on the BBC website, but I got the impression that blunt as he was, he was holding back a bit purely because of the show that he was being questioned by. A much better question is why on Earth was Newsround even interviewing someone who makes almost exclusively adult-orientated games?
More parents should be more responsible about these things like you are Ben. Because some kids, who are allowed to play GTA and L4D and fuck knows what else, can be genuinely scary. But that’s down to their parents letting them play those games, not the games themselves, or the games developers and publishers. There seems to be a strange lack of responsibility with some parents, where they let their kids do what they like, and then show up on Sky News wailing about how a video game turned their child into a violent thug… of course it could never be their complete apathy as a parent.
So he has a slightly higher score than me in Cars and Forza… and he -might- have got all the Achievements I currently hold on my xBox GT for Peggle… but I still beat him at Bejeweled 2 dammit!
Excellent read dear, was giggling my head of as memories of that day when the Controller was handed down to him, you know the one I mean? The one that now has a sticky LB and a bite mark near the RT. His face light up like a Christmas Tree when he was allowed to finally play ‘Daddy’s car game’.
Now, I must run away, I have Peggle time to fit in!
Good read, my gf used to lean towards the video games are bad camp until I got her into Mario and now I think that when we start knocking out nippers I too will have someone to game with. It pisses me off when people say that games are bad when all you do is sit there mesmerised by the screen when at the end of the day these same people will go home and sit infront of they’re tv all night. Double standards methinks.
@Preach, I saw that article, it made my day.
Its actually quite a heartwarming article
I now have something to point people towards if they ever talk about videogames corrupting children.
Thank you
Good read Ben, its proved very popular over on twitter this morning and has sparked quite the debate.
i think the article @preach and @ed are on about is this one if anybody wants to have a read
duh sorry i’ll put a link this time http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/technology/newsid_10130000/newsid_10136300/10136311.stm
Brill bit of writting, I’m a mother myself, and my xbox, ps3 or wii are usually swiched on for my almost 3 year old to play on, he too favours racing games and is starting to get the hang of steering round the corners rather than crashing into them,he loves his games, but he also loves his books, toy cars, playin in the park etc, its not like gaming is a form of babysitting
Was a good read and ill definatly be linkin to this for others to read
Gem x
What drives me mad about the “bad camp” people? How quick they are to say how we are corrupting our son by letting him play video games, yet their child is sat in front a TV screen day in, day out, watching crap like Horrid Henry and Waybaloos!
Yeh, cause that is real educational material right there! Oh wait… what? You sit in front of the TV all day too watching J.Kyle and Trisha? So these ‘other’ parents are allowing their children to do what they do, but we are not allowed to let ours do what we do?
Pot. Kettle. Black?
Thought this was a fantastic article, Ben. I honestly envy you these moments and hope to replicate such things myself one day. He will remember them all fondly I’m sure…I have never forgotten my dad getting me into gaming and never will.
I loathe the ill-informed and ignorant attitudes to gaming that some people seem to have. I’m with Ben, Knik and others who have pointed out that games have arguably a greater educational value than sitting on your arse in front of mind melting soaps. Pity some folk seem to miss this irony when pouring bile in the direction of gaming and their alleged influence.
As far as kids and games goes, I’m of the opinion that it is down to the parents to decide…only they will know their child well enough. If they are well armed and informed, then they know if their child has the ability or sensibility to play a rough game and not be scared or effected by it.
If somebody’s ten year old is mature and intelligent and not of a more nervous disposition, and the parents are capable of making judegments as to content, and let them play GTA, then hey, that is up to them. It is their responsibility, ultimately, so if it does turn little Timmy into a lunatic, then they have themselves to blame.
As much as I hate the ‘games are bad’ camp, I also hate the ‘anyone who lets their kids play GTA/RDR etc is bad’ camp…sweeping judegments like that are pretty shitty because not all parents are n’er do well morons who have no idea about the content of the games they play. If they are either gamers themselves who know and have vetted the content or who pay attention to PEGI and check first, then base their decision on their knowledge of their child, then fair enough. Every child is different and there will never be a suitable rule to rule them all. Shame the bad folks spoil the ability to make informed decisions for all the decent people out there.
Personally, the bigger issue for me would be a kid getting on Live and either A – bugging the hell out of people, being ‘that annoying kid in that multiplayer session’, or B – (and rather terrifyingly) not knowing if they are talking to someone dodgy or giving out information that could put them in danger. I’m surprised the Daily Mail don’t drop the ‘games are evil’ thing and start calling for a ban on headsets…
Kids playing games are the ones not out fucking up bus stops and beating up other kids.
Wow, Great article Ben. I’ve had a Bee in my bonnet about the anti for Gaming at a young age and an even bigger Bee for the irresponsible parents out there that use Games, without knowing what it is they are playing, as a tool to keep kids sedated.
I envy both you and your son for having this experience. It must be something wonderful to introduce into someones life and I can imagine just how great he must think of it. Clearly you already have an idea of what it is you want to introduce to your son and when in his life you plan to do it and thats awesome.
Its obvious that all of us grew up playing Games and emerged from it as better persons for having done so but to think that it could be done by having a Master and a Padawan, well I’d have gotten to where I was gaming 10 years ago rather than sifting through all the crap
@Preach
I saw that Newsround piece as it made the rounds on Twitter last week. It’s a terrible Faux Pas by the BBC to include it in a kids news program. It may well be clear that games are popular amonst young teenagers but by giving it that spotlight, no matter the angle, you’re only encouraging a problem where Kids put pressure on unsuspecting adults to buy kids games they might be better off without. Gotta love Lazlo for being so direct, loved saying that one back in the day at Retail.
@Knikitta
You should punch them in the face just to make a beautifully Ironic point
@MarkuZ
2 Posts Up. Marching Orders.
I’m late to the party with reading this great article but it’s so true. The moment I mention my eldest was gaming to her grandparents I need to swiftly follow it up with “it was only for 40 minutes/it was a kid-friendly game/yes we also left the house/okay I understand kids need exercise too” cos of this stupid rep that gaming has. It’s annoying that I have to defend a stint of gaming but sitting watching a dvd for 120minutes is absolutely fine.
I actually haven’t thrown my girls into games as much as I could have and something I’m sure I’ll write about at some point. From a learning point of view my 8 year old is a bad loser. To the point of crying in the past and getting stroppy. Playing on the Xbox (and board games also) has helped work at her frustration with that which will her good socially in the long run.