It’s Not me…It’s You.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if you don't take it out and use it, it's going to rust. Or just get really dusty.

Somewhere, somehow, I fell out of love and I don’t remember when.   From an early age I championed Nintendo’s ugly grey boxes over the shinier, more exciting looking Segas, and onwards,  shunning Playstation for the N64 and Gamecube…and it kind of stopped there.  I suddenly realised that my Nintendos and I don’t actually spend as much time together as I promised myself we would.  I practically bought a Wii on autopilot because not to would have been a grievous betrayal after all we had been through together, Nintendo and myself.

My laziness, apathy, and even depression have admittedly all played a part in eroding the relationship from the heady NES and SNES days onwards.  Certainly, I don’t have the dogged determination with games that I had as a child and I often forget that my Ninty box is there or simply come up with excuses not to spend time with it.  My hair has never been so washed and I have never had so many headaches while furtively slipping away to flirt with Microsoft.

The main reason though, is that I feel tired somehow, despite the surface glitz and marketing drive.  I don’t want to wait a year between the few great hits that are played out as a sop to the core gamers and I’m fed up defending the company no matter what, despite it’s past treatment of the EU market, female gamers, failure to advertise properly, and blinkered attitude over online gaming, to name but a few reasons.

More awkward fumblings than a sticky teen romp

I don’t bother arguing anymore, instead, I find myself nodding my head sadly when people complain.  In fact, more often than not, I’m all too quick to whisper behind its back and turn the knife.  Ninty though seem to be turning things around…better colour choices on the DS, encouraging fledgling developers with easier access, advertising extensively, etc.  A new energy has evolved somewhere along the line for this generation, but sadly, it seems to have come too late for me and my heart lays elsewhere.

Wavy remote?  Wii? Sounds stupid, I thought those few years ago; they’re just desperate to get noticed again.  Despite the ‘bloom being off the rose’ as Judge Judy would say, I felt obliged to get one anyway, after all, I’d always been faithful up until now…there has never been a generation of Nintendo console that I have abstained from, so I dutifully went ahead, despite my reservations.

After all, Nintendo always had originality, great exclusives, and ability to deliver explosive gaming memories.  Those moments where you suddenly pause your game as the realisation hits you at just what a stellar game you’re playing are keystone memories…which I haven’t had with the Wii.  It isn’t a star performer – there’s not enough character to overcome its looks, and aside from a few greats and the occasional sweaty fumble, it hasn’t reignited the old passion.

Perhaps I barely gave it a chance because I knew the spark had gone?  Can you blame me really?  The Wii’s idea of fun seems so vastly different from my own and I’m left wondering how and when this happened, and why.  So I gave in to temptation and flirted with the 360 and there was a connection;  I’m not just talking the HDMI cable either.

For all its faults, my Wii is still around but gets next to no attention, instead it sits perched on a shelf, slowly gathering dust.  The ratio of crap games to good is still badly skewed and the piss-poor storage is another big problem – that and I just don’t like the controls – in fact, I hate them.  Motion control play and wrist workouts aren’t as fun or dirty as they sound which have opened up a frustrating gulf between us – one which doesn’t exist with other suitors.

And what's he then that says I play the villain?

Physicality aside, Nintendo don’t listen, especially over the storage, but that’s nothing new.  They always know best, but I had always brushed that away because they compensated elsewhere.  The Wii does have flashes of brilliance (so I am told, mainly by people who have stuck in and made the difficult relationship work) and when I experience one myself, I remember why I fell in love with Nintendo in the first place all those years ago, but it always fades because the foundation has eroded, leaving a wistful ‘if only’ and a residue of disappointment.  Even the flagship characters now just make me roll my eyes rather than laugh and get taken in by their charming antics.

His wand never needs recalibrating, sorry.

If I’m honest, I was fed up from the start with the Wii and the (typically) sparse launch lineup and the refusal to get in shape and compete on some level, rather than stubbornly doing its own thing and ignoring those who had been faithful through sickness and health, was a big issue.  Even the originality feels strained and contrived at times and the most seductive parts of its arsenal are rehashes of better rolls in the hay with its predecessors.  I found that by hanging onto a faded love, I was kidding myself.  Whatever it was – perhaps my love of the SNES which was a vibrant, great contender, almost my youth and summers full of memories in a box – is gone.

It has faded into the insipid white box under my TV with too few flashes of genius and an awkwardness in our interactions.  I do enjoy its company sometimes, like an old friend who I haven’t seen in years, but it can never be the same.  I have my 360 now and that is a solid relationship which won’t end any time soon -  I don’t know whether it will ever hold the place in my heart that Nintendo once did, after all, nostalgia, especially when tacked to the heady freedoms and endless summers of childhood is powerful but the Xbox360 is rewarding, open, and fun and ultimately I can’t ask for more.  I feel guilty, but sorry Nintendo, all things considered… it’s not me…it’s actually you.

Last five articles by Lorna



  1. Rook says:

    Alas, my Wii gets rarely used either. I can’t blame it on the lack of HD graphics, not can I blame it on the games themselves, I still have Zelda: Twilight Princess to play, a game I’ve had since getting the Wii. What it comes down to is the controls.

    Whenever I play a game, I like to sit back and relax (or slouch), unfortunately, the Wii does not want that. The motion controls mean I have to be more interactive, holding my arms in the air while I play. Whether it’s shaking the Wiimote, or using it with the Nunchuk to simulate some real world action, I have to be more physically involved.

    It wouldn’t be so bad if it was an option to how you want to play games, but it’s the only option. This is the reason why it’s my least played console. And I’ve heard so many people talk about getting the Wii and then not using it as the novelty wears off. Unfortunately, Microsoft and Sony have not taken this into consideration with their respective ideas for motion controls, they’ve just seen the money Nintendo made.

  2. Victor Victor says:

    My Wii has been unplugged for all of 2009. And all of 2010 so far. That, I think, says it all.

  3. Samuel The Preacher says:

    I find myself in kind of the same position… a member of the loyal “old guard”, not so much a fanboy as an enthusiastic advocate (I had the SEGAs and the Playstations, and with the exception of the SEGA Megadrive over the SNES always preferred the Nintendo offering), have the older consoles and loved them, and find myself very disappointed on the whole with the Wii.

    As you say, the ratio of crap to good software is staggeringly one-sided, with genuinely good games coming out maybe once or twice a year. I’ve had my Wii longer than my 360, but somehow find myself past the century mark for Microsoft’s console, but with only 12 games for Nintendo’s. And two of those are crap, presents from well-meaning family members. In 3 years I have 10 good games for my Wii. That’s just depressing. And four of those have the option to use the Gamecube controller over the Wiimote… an option I always use, because the Gamecube controller was great, and doesn’t make you look like a spastic having a fit in front of the telly.

    I have been using my Wii lately, but not for the right reasons, mostly. I played Little King’s Story in the last couple of months, but otherwise, it’s all been replays of old games whilst between games for the 360 or PC. I’ve replayed the Metroid Prime Trilogy and Okami, which are Wii games (well… ports with Wii controls), but otherwise too these replays haven’t even been meant for this console. I loved my Gamecube. I still play the games. But the Wii makes my Gamecube games look slightly better on a HD TV. For a good 80% of the time, my Wii is just a slightly sharper Gamecube emulator.

    Despite that, I haven’t given up hope with Nintendo entirely. That will probably come down to the next generation of consoles and handhelds, which isn’t too far away now. The 3DS is out next year, and unlike Sony and Microsoft’s 10 year plan for the 360 and PS3, the Wii is probably going to be succeeded by 2011 or 2012, judging by Nintendo’s comments. How good those are will make or break things between me and Nintendo.

    At least, I say that now… but a new Zelda or Fire Emblem always has me coming back for more.

  4. Ben Ben says:

    Our Wii got part exchanged towards a new 360 Elite a couple of Christmas’ ago, it just wasn’t getting the use out of it that I’d have expected.

    All I ask for is a new Lylat Wars game :’(

  5. Richie Blucey says:

    Good stuff as usual, L.

    I remember when the Wii was about to launch. I said to a few people that I’d wait a month and see if anyone was still playing their’s. They weren’t.

    It was almost two years later when I tried one out. Another not-as-good-as-the-SNES-one Mario Kart game, Resi 4 but with cack controls and the fun-but-shallow Boom Blox.

    Wasn’t sold.

  6. Kat says:

    I don’t own a Wii and I’m not too distraught about it but I’m sorry to hear about your rocky relationship ;) I’ve only been tempted by the Wii because I think the girls would have fun with it. Then I remember the more they’re using the tv, the less I can get on the Xbox ^_^

  7. Mark R MarkuzR says:

    The Wii… hmm… the Wii… ahhhhhhh yes, that’s the thing that destroys the “shiny technology corner of blackness” in the lounge isn’t it? I was sorely tempted to buy the black version when it came out just so it wasn’t quite as obvious amongst all the other tasty goodies, although it would make MORE sense to just bin the bloody thing. That said… when B0SS graced us with his presence, it was certainly a lot of fun playing Sword Wanking.

  8. Rook says:

    I too have contemplated buying the black Wii as it looks awesome (dare I say sexy – no I daren’t, otherwise you may think I have consolephilea). Not playing the Wii I have is the logical reason not to buy it, but it does tease everytime I go into HMV.

Leave a Comment